Please click on the following link to access the article referenced in this blog post:
I'm sure Herr Adidas and Monsier leshalles are currently sitting together over a post publishing dinner-cum-e-chat. I'm equally sure the Frankfurter is rubbing his hands together gleefully as he tucks into his bratwurst mit zenf und kartoffeln salat, content to see his phone did not in fact ring, but rather his Parisian counterpart ascented to his latest proposal; the utilisation of webcam based e-chat, something which Herr Adidas has steadfastly made sure he knows about lest he be left behind in these modern times.
Monsier Leshalles stares indignantly down the measly 1.3 megapixel webcam resting atop his company provided Dell laptop, as he attempts to navigate his latest error; attempting to prepare his happy-go-lucky Italian friend's linguini a la calamari, that after some effort and much tut tutting in his 11 sqft Bastille kitchen lies tepidly between himself and the laptop screen.
Herr Adidas heartily wipes his mouth with a napkin his girlfriend 'Uta' bought him in an attempt to make sure such a steadfastly typical man, a long time bachelor, gets into some good habits even when she cannot be there due to the evening German lessons she provides to some charming recently immigrated Turkish friends of friends. The proud bachelor then readjusts his belt, stifles a burp and moves the conversation with his french friend on from the pleasantries.
"Zo...vee have zun a gut job ya!?" (you'll notice he's speaking in English)
At this Monsier Leshalles blurs a bit till he gets into focus, his face plastered with a thin lipped smile, as his picture blurs again in what Herr Adidas determines is a normal Gallic shrug.
"Ben oui, bien sur..."
After a few seconds of dead air, both men begin to speak, however, the Frenchmen decides given his counterpart took the initiative to initiate the conversation it's probably up to him to rescue it before it stalls due to the German's rambunctious enthusiasm.
"We-eu, diide-eu, verriii, well-eu."
Another Gallic shrug.
The frankfurter, decides against taking another sip of his reasonably priced, normal, trocken riesling, and presses the conversation onward.
"Ja, zis artikle ist ganz relevant! Und it is auch important zu note zat Deutchsland und zee France are both zoing very well in zis economic climate, if...order...wenn, zee others, like zee England und zee Spanien are not!"
The Parisian shifts in his Habitat chair, a tingle of glee running down the spine of the well worn blazer his parents gave him upon graduation from his grandes ecoles 10 years ago. He recognises truth in his German counterpart's words, his rigourous economics education has, as it has done everyday paid off, and even though his sister, the favourite of the family, went to Insead and is now working as communications director for L'oreal, he too may be seen as a successful individual.
The German journalist continues.
"Zer is a fundamental inefficiency in zee British economic zystem...Zay, rely zu heavily on zee credit, zo wenn zis is taken away from them! Zay are zu afraid zu go zu zee supermarkt!"
The Frenchman frowns and comprehends perhaps half of what the German is saying, but nods vigourously;
"Zay are, fooooliiiish, zay will-eu, not-eu help-eu zerr-eu economie-eu zu recover-eu, if-eu, zay-eu zu not-eu spend-eu like us-eu!"
The french journalist allows himself another drop from the bottle of of 1998 Chateau Les Cambrailles, the manager at the Nicholas on his street corner, sold him for 1 euro 50 because he too foolishly thought it was corked. The Frenchman, recognised a bargain when he saw one, perhaps due to his 7 years of formation at les grandes ecoles, 1 euro 50 is a normal price for a good vin du tables, but for a bottle of vinegar, or cooking wine, it is excellent!
A silence passes over their respective tables, as the two, newly paired by their respective editors to write such a piece, think of how best to close the conversation without appearing rude, as given their educational history and titles, they are very busy men,.
As one they both lean, opening their mouthes about to say something, and their respective hands both slam into the return key on their respective laptops, where they had both positioned their cursors over the 'end call' or 'red' button.
After a moment contemplating free rider theory, the pair almost at the same time conclude the conversation by IM chat. They both blame the call failure upon their respective internet connections, which are both provided by Orange, clearly, the company is having issues with its service maintenance as its UK consumers all hasten to cut their contracts, discard their handsets in favour of shouting loudly in the street and waving banners, and their revenues fall, leaving the company on hard times.
In short the article is interesting, in that it flags up the shamelessness of Euro, by which I mean, currency member, zones in their smug one-up man ship over truly free and aspirational economies such as Britain and the US. German and French consumers are still spending the same amount they have done over the last few years, what do you want to bet that taken relatively, consumer expenditure post crunch is still much healthier in the UK?
The French economy is more stable in the same way that a table is more reliable than a computer, and the German economy is more rigorously efficient in the way that CRT TV's preserve the illusion of fiction better than HD TV's which reveal all.
The German economy will recover the quickest, and the French economy is the most insulated. However, so long as Britain sticks up for itself and does not allow itself to be brow beaten by the eurozone's smug call for its ailing cousin to join the Euro so that it can be taken in hand, Britain, shall dramatically overtake both economies over the course of the next 10 years in growth, and yet, learning from some of its mistakes, become even more stable than the others, whilst the others find themselves having to bail out institutions whom were previously reliant upon UK consumer spending.
The attitude that we as Brits must adopt outside of our brilliant "Keep calm and carry on" motto coined in equally difficult times when European neighbors attested to their superiority, is 'watch this space.'
Britain shall inform the nature of socially moderated, aspirational capitalism for decades to come, and shall further reduce national economic apartheid by taking the world by surprise in presenting a much better tuned version of capitalism for global pursuit.
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